not-Ryan Gosling’s Buckwheat not-Super Bowl Cakes

5 Feb


So, what does not-Ryan Gosling make for his not-Super Bowl party? Why, buckwheat pancakes, of course.

I became not-Ryan Gosling last night as my wife and I watched Drive. If you haven’t seen the movie, let me tell you it’s bloody as hell–violent, kind of dark, a little brooding–which meant I enjoyed it a great deal. My wife can roll with that at times, though usually not with a smile on her face, or at least not the devilish grin she wore for the whole 90+ minutes of the film (including the part where actual-Ryan Gosling stomps someone’s head in an elevator). Apparently, he can do no wrong. Apparently, he is that darling. As I joked on Facebook whilst watching the movie, I am pretty sure my wife would actually leave me for actual-Ryan Gosling if presented the opportunity. Not that I could begrudge her such a move. Guy’s got moves.

And as for not-Super Bowl, that is really the realization of promise that’s been percolating for several years now. I’m not an NFL fan, though every year I find myself returning to the game like Romero’s zombies to the mall, not really sure why I’m watching, scared to death by the horror of such things like Roger Daltrey’s exposed midriff as he butchers my favorite Who songs at halftime. Not that I besmirch anyone for partaking in what has become something of a holiday. I enjoyed it enough as a kid, and have been to a few fun gatherings in the name of the day throughout the years. But it was time to unplug, so unplug I did.

As for the cakes, I figured I would go whole hog on the not-Super Bowl thing, introducing a spot of health as opposed to the salty snacks of actual-Super Bowls hitherto. I didn’t go all in on the health part, however–there are versions of these cakes that are far more responsible, to be sure. But we didn’t need an angioplasty when we were done. That ain’t nothing on this day.

As for the cakes themselves, I enjoyed them a great deal. My wife carries with her some bad buckwheat associations, so the deck was stacked against her enjoyment from the moment I planned these. She was a trooper in trying them, though, and got through them famously. The boy liked them just fine. Hold the paternity tests–I guess he truly is my son after all.

If I’m ever to shake the “not” part of my new alias, I must scoot away now to work on looking cool with a toothpick. Oh, and I’ll need to learn how to kill someone with a shower curtain rod in fewer than five seconds. And put on pants, too–that actual-Ryan Gosling wears a mean pair of pants.


Pants: What am I, actual-Ryan Gosling or something? And the boy stood with me in solidarity.

Planning: Just deciding what would satisfy my healthy-ish wont.

Gathering: Just had to get some buckwheat flour.

Execution: Very simple.

Results: I loved them, and no one else hated them. Score.

Crossover Potential: Hmmm…other fruits for batter and topping?

The cakes recipe:

  • 3/4 cup buckwheat flour (organic)
  • 3/4 cup pastry flour (organic)
  • 1.5 tsp. baking powder
  • 1/2 tsp. baking soda
  • 1/4 tsp. salt
  • 2 Tbsp. brown sugar (organic)
  • 1 cup buttermilk
  • 3/4 cup whole milk (organic)
  • 1 Tbsp. honey (organic)
  • 2 large eggs (cage-free)
  • 2 Tbsp. canola oil
  • 2.5 cups blueberries, divided (organic, frozen)
  1. Preheat oven to 170 degrees, or engage warmer drawer
  2. In a large bowl, whisk together the flours, baking power, baking soda, and salt
  3. In a separate bowl, beat together the buttermilk, whole milk, honey, eggs, and oil
  4. Add wets to dries, gently stirring to combine, lest your resultant cakes be dry and tough
  5. Fold in 1.25 cup of your blueberries
  6. Preheat your griddle to about 350 degrees and melt butter to coat the surface
  7. Ladle batter onto griddle using a 1/4 measuring cup, flipping after about 3 minutes, keeping completed cakes warm in the oven while you prepare the rest
  8. Serve with remaining blueberries and maple syrup

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